Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Does sanity exist?

I feel like I'm being pulled from every direction. Ever feel like that? I wish my husband was my "go to man" rather than a puller.

If I played the lottery, and won...the first thing I would do is hire a nanny. I would love someone to clean my floors, keep the kids rooms up and the laundry, and always cook our meals. Those things fly by the wayside. I don't hate to cook, but I do hate the thought of making a huge mess, for the kids to inhale, feed the pets, or shove around their plates and complain about.

If I had a nanny, I could do more fun stuff with the kids, instead of all the 'dirty work'. It's no fair!!! I don't have a happy light burning bright, for all the world to see. I have both ends burning and I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and even depressed....and all I want to do is QUIT. I'm so sick of myself.

Who is this gross, deprived woman with all these issues? I used to be something besides the crazy woman who's kids are loud & wild & obnoxious, who is always late & frazzled. I had substance and a heart! I cared, enjoyed, dreamed....lately all I do is try to make it through and then cry because my life is flying by unlived.

The next thing I'd do if I won the lotto would be a vacation. I have ideas of tropical paradise...or brisk, salty breezes of the New England states....or anywhere beautiful and tranquil. I need rest for my soul.

What would you do if you had the money???

What is sanity, and how do you grab ahold of it?

Where do you find rest?


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