Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Self talk

4Lora is patient, Lora is kind. Lora does not envy, Lora does not boast, Lora is not proud. 5Lora is not rude, Lora is not self-seeking,Lora is not easily angered, Lora keeps no record of wrongs. 6Lora does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7Lora always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

What's been going on............

Well, let's see. I've been so extremely busy with life. I haven't posted much except to vent about my frustrations.

August 7th my 2 older sisters and their families drove up from North Carolina and we all put on a big party for our parents. It was our parents 60th birthdays as well as their 30th anniversary. We held the party at their home in Michigan. Us girls and our children camped out, we had a huge bonfire, food, friends, family. It was wonderful. I will post pics at a later time, I am at work right now. ;)

August 30th, my 'real' Mom came to visit from New Mexico. (My dad has been married to my 'step-mom' for 30 years - just to clarify.) My younger sister picked her up from the airport and drove to my house, they all stayed for 2 nights, then Mom went to my sisters house for another day, then back. Very short trip. It was fantastic, getting to see her.

School started for my kids on August 17th. All five kids are in school all day this year!!! I can't believe it. I thought it was going to be an amazing amount of stress relief, having days to myself, but I don't! I started a new job a while back, I've been insanely busy all the time.

The kids are so busy - Aaron is in Cross Country right now. Dylan has Spell Bowl. Gavin JUST finished up baseball and began football. It even doubled up for a weekend. Jaden & Landon don't do any extracurricular activities yet besides Awana. I don't know how people do it. I know all these moms who say they are taxi's, and I can't believe how much I'm in my car. How much gas we use. Back & forth, back & forth, back & forth. It's nuts! Not to mention, we are a one vehicle family, so I'm also transporting DH to work and meetings, and whatever else.

My birthday was yesterday. I turned 35.

Blueberry Festival was last week. It's the biggest fest in the mid-west, right in my hometown. It's fun, but very exhausting. This was the first year we were actually able to be part of it daily. Usually we just do the fireworks and parade because it's EXPENSIVE!!! This year, DH got his retention bonus at work, and we were able to purchase mega-passes for the two older boys, and pay-one-price bands for the younger 3. That means, the older two were at the festival when school got out on Thursday, until Labor Day Monday at 6. Pretty much. The little 3 and I spent the entire day Friday at the rides. They were open 12-10 for the POP bracelet, so we took full advantage. Saturday we had baseball games, Sunday bb games, fireworks, then Monday, we skipped the parade.

Gotta run - working. I'll finish up later.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Does sanity exist?

I feel like I'm being pulled from every direction. Ever feel like that? I wish my husband was my "go to man" rather than a puller.

If I played the lottery, and won...the first thing I would do is hire a nanny. I would love someone to clean my floors, keep the kids rooms up and the laundry, and always cook our meals. Those things fly by the wayside. I don't hate to cook, but I do hate the thought of making a huge mess, for the kids to inhale, feed the pets, or shove around their plates and complain about.

If I had a nanny, I could do more fun stuff with the kids, instead of all the 'dirty work'. It's no fair!!! I don't have a happy light burning bright, for all the world to see. I have both ends burning and I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and even depressed....and all I want to do is QUIT. I'm so sick of myself.

Who is this gross, deprived woman with all these issues? I used to be something besides the crazy woman who's kids are loud & wild & obnoxious, who is always late & frazzled. I had substance and a heart! I cared, enjoyed, dreamed....lately all I do is try to make it through and then cry because my life is flying by unlived.

The next thing I'd do if I won the lotto would be a vacation. I have ideas of tropical paradise...or brisk, salty breezes of the New England states....or anywhere beautiful and tranquil. I need rest for my soul.

What would you do if you had the money???

What is sanity, and how do you grab ahold of it?

Where do you find rest?